-Dear Ethel, My Forbidden Love,
The only thing expanding faster than the fabric of time and space is the fabric of my pants.
-Dear President Truman,
Glad you liked the atomic bomb. I've got an idea for another superweapon, a full rocket full of bees. I'll keep you posted.
After much research, I've finally perfected a formula for aerosol cheese. Please reply if interested.
Sincerely, A. Einstein
-My Dear Mrs. Roosevelt,
Are you sure you don't want to become mistress number 4. According to my calculations, it's just what you need. Call me.
Passionately, Al Einstein.
-Ingvar Kamprad, Founder and President of IKEA
I've wasted an entire weekend trying to assemble this stupid coffee table! Give me a refund or I'll sue your nuts off.
-Dear Mr. George H. W. Bush and Barbara Bush:
In response to your question, I was indeed a slow learner as a child. Just be patient and I'm sure your son will catch up.
Best wishes, Albert Einstein
-Johnson & Johnson
You conditioner does not work at all. My hair is still an unruly, flyaway mess. Please refund my purchase price of 25 cents.
Sincerely, Albert Einstein
Did my manuscript already go to the printer? I just discovered a typo. It should read E=MC3.
Yours truly, Albert Einstein.
-Hershey Chocolate Company
After sampling your new Milk Duds, I can honestly say, YOU are the genius, my friend.